I teach this trait constantly with my coaching clients as well as in the Corporate world where I share it in keynote presentations and breakouts. But, Courageous Confidence is valuable in all aspects of our lives, even in our personal relationships, as parents or in our self-confidence.

Confidence is something you create within yourself by believing in who you are and who you are meant to be. That sounds simple, yet it can be exceedingly difficult for most people.

When I was growing up, we were raised to believe that being too confident meant that you were arrogant, egotistical, and even stuck up or conceited. Yes, you can come across in those ways if you are not doing it right, but being taught that meant that we were supposed to be submissive, shy, and less than, right? It was completely accepted to live in comparison and judgment of yourself and yet in reality that is one of the worst things you can do! It was totally ok to put yourself down and belittle yourself all the time. What were we thinking?

I love that we now live in a time that it is proven to be a good thing to have Courageous Confidence and to own your confidence! Also, as we develop our self-confidence and believe in ourselves, it creates more room for others to see us that way and for us to also recognize the positive in others. Having Confidence allows us to be Inspirational, Influential and have a positive Impact on ourselves and others. Having confidence means that we are Owning Our Power. It is our responsibility to OWN OUR POWER.

What I have found is we all have times when we feel inferior to others and what we “think they are thinking about us or saying about us”. This can tear us down faster than anything else! Most of the time YOU DO NOT know what they were thinking! You are not a mind reader. Most of the time what we imagine they are thinking is completely wrong or quite exaggerated. Besides that, what someone else is thinking is none of your business! They are evaluating the situation from their perspective, making judgments according to their own beliefs and experiences. They have no idea what you have been through, why you are doing what you are doing and most of them do not really care.

Think about it, “No one can make you feel inferior, inadequate or embarrassed without your consent. “

“We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are.” From our perspective, our experiences, our views according to our beliefs and values.

I want to share with you the 3 Essential Skills to Create Courageous Confidence:

First: Value Yourself

We get to redefine how we feel about our self.

We get to know of our value and own it. This means taking care of you, good self-care, nurturing relationships, health and wellness and being positive.

It also means loving, honoring and forgiving you. Be in your own corner. Value Yourself and allow others to value you too!

Third: Believe in Yourself

One way to believe in you more is to build on what you do have and not on what you don’t have. Build on what you are passionate about. Build on your attributes and qualities. Build on your beliefs, your talents, your ideas, your humor, your vision. Build on being your true authentic self. Others will believe in you when you believe in you.

Stop trying to be “like” someone else and just be you!

When you implement these 3 Essential Skills, Value yourself, Trust yourself and Believe in yourself; you can own your power. You can be empowered in your leadership, influential in your relationships and happy in your life.

When I teach this Trait, I share the two types of confidence, Cowardly Confidence and Courageous Confidence. No one wants to feel “cowardly” and yet when we do not own our power and confidence, that is how we come across. When we are not paying attention to how we are feeling and we just allow this to happen, we come across as less confident, not as attentive, less valuable, and fearful. Honestly, that is probably how we are feeling deep down too, but when we have a clear picture in our mind about who we are, what we are about and our value, we come across as powerful, successful, and yes, confident.

I teach this as CREATE Courageous Confidence! I know that it is important to know of our value and worth. I also know that it takes courage to always come from a confident space. I use CREATE as an Acronym to best assist us in taking action and implementing this in our lives.

Here is my CREATE Courageous Confidence:·

• C=Conquer: Conquer the voice inside your head. You get to believe in you. The most believable voice is your own. So, embrace it, and have positive thoughts about yourself. Be willing to celebrate your accomplishments.
• R=Reinforce: Reinforce by raising personal value and your character. Repeat ‘I am’ declarations and create a list of accomplishments so you can see the proof as to why you are so amazing. Use a vision board to show where you want your life to go, and so you can see it every day. Then reinforce how your confidence in yourself will allow you to achieve your dreams.
• E=Evaluate: Evaluate and examine where you are and what needs to change. Discover how you can improve each day. Evaluate your progress and your failures, so that you can know what are trigger points or setbacks. Evaluate when times are good, and you are feeling more confident and find what works the most and the best for you.
• A=Accept: Accept where you are. Begin there. We all have ‘reasons’ as to where our confidence has come from or what it has been taken away by. It does not matter where you are—what matters is what you do about it, and that you do it differently. Does the value of a human being change? NO. We are all born with the exact same amount of value. And at the end of life, it remains the same. Human value does not depend on how much money you make or at what level you are in the workplace. Actual human value does not change.
• T=Trust: Trust the process. Trust yourself. Your own words are the most powerful for you. Trust that you can know how powerful you are and trust how owning it will empower you to be stronger and more influential.
• E=Expect: Expect greatness, trust that you deserve it, and trust when it happens. Stop doubting yourself. See yourself the way you want others to see you, and trust that they will and that they do see you.

As you learn each of these, you will be able to wrap your mind around just how important they are. Isn’t it time for you to Own Your Confidence and be as powerful as you can be in all aspects of your life?

“Courageous Confidence is something you create within yourself by believing in who you are and who you are meant to be!” ~Kris Barney