How to Nurture Relationships During Stressful Times

Stressful times are upon us with the continuing world pandemic 20 months later and the holidays upon us…so my question for you is this: “How do you Nurture Relationships during Stressful Times?

Stressful times will show up in our lives on a regular basis. We have frequently experience times of worry, grief, anxiety, and stress. We have these times at work, at home and even personally that come up on a regular basis. Yes, the pandemic has created it to be accentuated and has compounded things like crazy, but we can learn to do better and create more control for ourselves and our circumstances. But it begins with you!

Yes, start with yourself. The truth is that you really cannot control anyone else. You may be able to influence or encourage someone else, but change must come from within.

When you feel in control of yourself and you nurture yourself to the point of feeling peaceful, calm and relieved of stress, you are better prepared to be able to nurture your other relationships. There are so many easy things we can do to Nurture ourselves and yet so easily we brush right over them.

Here are several things you could do right now:

Going into the Holidays knowing that our lives have become more stressful, and we have additional concerns, like trying to avoid getting sick, staying healthy and keeping up with all we are trying to do is stressful in itself! We are also faced with death and sickness as well as a heightened level of depression and suicide. There is a lot going on! We must be conscientious of everything happening around us and prepare for how we CAN enjoy our time together for the holidays and keep our sanity.

Recently we had Thanksgiving. We were asked to not have large gatherings, keep our groups to immediate family only. This is a foreign thought for almost any family and a Traditional Thanksgiving. This year was to be our year with all our children, and our grandchildren. As Thanksgiving approached, not all our children would be coming, not all our Grandchildren would make it, and then the day before, we found out that one of the families had been exposed to someone who tested positive, and we had all already been together!

After having all of the difficulties with limited numbers last year and being forced to have my own Mother only able to do a “drive by” on Thanksgiving, I began to feel hurt, frustrated and angry.

It had been over 4 years since we had been able to have everyone together for Thanksgiving. As I allowed the disappointment, hurt feelings and frustration creep in, it only made things worse. Did you find yourself with similar feelings as this fantastic holiday of gratitude and generosity came to be?

By the time we had our Thanksgiving Dinner, I was feeling more sick and I worried as to what we had all been exposed to. Within two days, several were sick and by Sunday evening, we had positive tests showing up, and I tested positive with Pneumonia associated with the virus. What I can tell you is that YES, this looked different than what I wanted. Yes, it felt hurtful, frustrating, and difficult. But, I chose to see it from a different perspective of being able to have most of my immediate family together and that we are blessed beyond measure, even if we are all getting sick! All of us were able to stay out of the hospital and due to a holiday weekend, were able to not spread it to anyone else! When we are willing to step back and see the picture differently, we are able to spread love and joy for what we do have. We can be peaceful and calm, even when we are faced with scary illness and things are not going the best for us. Did I have to cancel and reschedule my next two weeks of life? Yes. Was I sicker than a dog? Yes. Did I fear for all my other family members that now also had this illness and I could not go help take care of them? Yes. But it was when I looked at our blessings rather than our hardships and when I took my focus off of myself and tried to help others that my heart was full of love and gratitude.

The lessons here are to appreciate what you do have, recognize the simple yet profound things that are still all around us. Plan things that will be memorable. Do things that are not easy and do not expect them to look a certain way. There are many ways for us to learn from this. Choose to be willing to look for what you are learning. Choose to see what is right in front of you and how you are blessed. See things from gratitude and abundance and the nurturing of relationships will happen even during stressful times. Choose to play your game of tic tac toe with hearts instead of empty zeros and watch the love win.

Here are ways to help you through some of these situations:

• Make Connections with people! Everyone needs connection right now more than ever!
• Make phone calls – actually speak with others.
• Text others with compliments and love. Face time!
• Get on Zoom and have some fun! Play games with each other, watch a movie, do challenges, LAUGH TOGETHER.
• Be authentic and real.
• Reach out when you are down, even when you do not want to.
• Be in Acceptance NOT Resistance! We have talked before about Accept & Allow VS Control and Force.
• Work hard. Organize and de-junk. Let go of what you do not need. Allow space for what you are ready for.
• Plan fun activities. Find fun ways to have connection with friends and family.
• Plan creative dates and outings. Play some board games and do fun activities and challenges with each other.

You have got this! You can create what you set your mind to. Why not set it to have wonderful relationships during these crazy times and enjoy each other every day?