We cannot allow fear to stop us. You will often hear me say, “Fear can stop you or propel you, the choice is yours!” ~Kris Barney. The BEST way to overcome fear of Conflict is to put Conflict Resolution Tactics in place. Conflict Resolution does not have to be difficult. It can be very manageable when you learn the tactics that are proven to work well and put them into action.
But, what if we were to “take off those boxing gloves” and not be quite so quick to jump to conclusions or be prepared for a fight. It is amazing to me how often people are looking for that fight, looking to jump down someone else’s throat and voice their opinion just to be contradictory. What if we learned to “Diffuse” the situation rather than throw gasoline on the fire?
Because we were just dropping the boat in the water, I knew I would not be able to talk with this person for at least 5 days, because we would not have cell service. This text weighed on my heart heavily and I struggled with this for most of our trip. Upon returning from the lake, it was a few days before I received a phone call back and was able to talk this out. I am not going to lie….this hurt! Most of what was said was taken out of context and this person had jumped to a few conclusions which made it much worse than what I had said, but it hurt this person as well and they believed that I was seeing them differently than I do. I would never want this to be the case!
Tactic #1 – Diffuse
When I was able to have a call with this person, it was an easy resolution. We were able to talk about how it had been taken out of context and the misinterpretations in what was said and how it was meant. I was grateful to have this resolved and also grateful to have gone through the hurt, as it helped me to see that I get to be more conscious of what I am saying and how others can be affected by it. It also gave me a good look at ways to teach this to other people. This can be simple when you are willing to implement it.
Tactic #2 – Accountability
There are two sides to every conflict, and it is rare that one side is completely to blame and the other side is completely without blame. So, when you find yourself in conflict with another person, ask yourself honestly, “What is my part in this?” If you can start the conversation with, “I see how what I have done contributed to the problem we are having.” You have taken the first step toward your accountability to the situation. When you do this, it allows the other person the opportunity to take personal accountability for their part in it too.
To have positive Progress we get to be solution providers and look for ways to communicate more proficiently. When we are able to say things such as; “I feel like ____________when you said ________________, rather than just being accusatory to that person. Also acknowledging what they are saying, and feeling will allow for the other person to be heard and valued. When you change the context of your communication to be less threatening and more understanding and accepting it will come across powerfully and respectfully. This will take the “sting” out and allow for conflicts to be resolved easily.
Tactic #3 – Identify
Tactic #4 – Collaboration
This is a long article/blog but thank you for being with us today! There is TONS for great content in here on “How to Overcome Fear of Conflict in a Team” and will exponentially increase your success if you will implement these 4 Tactics! Here’s to your success!