Are you allowing your fears to get in the way of your success? All of us have fear in our life. How we deal with that fear will determine how successful we are. What I have found after working with hundreds of clients and speaking to thousands of people is this: “You gain strength, courage and confidence by embracing your fear.”
“Your Success Begins when Your Fear Ends.” ~ Kris Barney. This statement is true. Think about it. When were you faced with fear recently? What did you do? Did you find a way to push through that fear and do what you needed to anyway or did you allow that fear to stop you and keep you held back?
Fear was given to us to avoid danger, to sense something that could be bad or to use as a source for protecting us from getting hurt. The actual definition is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat, and to be afraid of someone or something as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening. Yet, in our world right now, fear can look like many things, such as:
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Self-consciousness -
Insecurity
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Unqualified
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Lack of Knowledge
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Anxiety
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Stress
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Danger
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Judgement
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Acceptance
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Not Belonging
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What others might think
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Lack of Belief in Self
Yes, fear was given to us to avoid danger, yet many of us are allowing it to stop us from our full potential.
“Fear Can Stop You or Propel You. ~ Kris Barney
What is your fear doing for you? Is it stopping you from moving forward in a big way? Is it keeping you from taking that next big step in your life? Would you be more successful if you were to push through that fear that is holding you back and just go for it?
Recently, I had the opportunity to speak at a women’s retreat. It was a small intimate group of ladies at an overnight get away in a huge beautiful cabin nestled in the majestic Utah Mountains. I went the night before and slept over with these ladies and the next morning we were going to have breakfast and Yoga before I would be speaking and training them. Yoga was an opportunity, not a requirement.
We were going to do our Yoga outside on the deck, overlooking mountains on all sides. There was just a touch of fall coming into view and the changing of the leaves on the trees. You could see vibrant oranges, red tones and even yellow. The view was breathtaking. The peaceful feeling was serine. YET, I was not at peace. I was not excited. I was in fear.
Why? I had NEVER in my life done Yoga! I had not even watched it being done! I had a pretty good idea what it was, and knew several of the women at this retreat did yoga on a regular basis. I KNEW I would look ridiculous! I knew that I would not be able to do it and would not look coordinated or even slightly capable! I knew it would hurt and had several reasons as to why I should just choose out of this activity. I was to be their “knowledgeable empowering Speaker” just a few minutes after this activity, what would they think if they were to see me not being capable?
I was the first one to wake up that morning. I spent a great deal of time doing my own personal morning ritual of reading, meditating, walking outside, prayer and even got ready for the day. My hair was curled and my makeup on…yet, I was still having the thoughts of fear about the whole yoga experience.
Why do we allow ourselves to even entertain the negative thoughts and ideas? It is ridiculous! I even teach this stuff, and yet here I was allowing the fear to set in and almost talk me out of taking advantage of the opportunity to participate!
Well, I did it! I did Yoga for my first time ever! It was Amazing! Yes, I was not as coordinated as some of these wonderful ladies. Yes, it hurt and was difficult with my current limitations. Yes, it felt awkward at times and my moves were not as smooth and beautiful as they could have been, but I did it! I actually did better at it than I thought I would. I even surprised our instructor. What I realized as I felt the pain of sore muscles all over my body for the next couple of days, was that this could be a wonderful exercise for me to regain the mobility of my shoulders after having two shoulder surgeries. It could also be a great way to workout that would not cause my feet the trouble that I have been facing. Who knew that the thing I was avoiding doing could be an answer to my health goals! This is what happens almost every time we are willing to be vulnerable and Push through the Fear rather than allow it to control us!
One of the greatest discoveries you can do for yourself is to push through the fear and feel the power to do anything! I have known for many years that pushing through fear in a powerful way can give you the courage and confidence to move forward. I have known that it allows you to feel your own power and to acknowledge that you are capable. Some of the biggest things that I have done over the years to overcome fear and also to empower myself have been these:
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High level Ropes Course
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One of the highest Zip Lines in Mexico
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Fire Walk with Tony Robbins
These have all been Amazing! They have all given me tremendous growth and belief. But a lot of the other things in my life that were difficult and even very scary have also given me those same feelings as I trusted and went for it full force! Some of those have been:
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Yoga
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Starting my own business
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Real Estate Investing
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Business Investing
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My son’s cancer
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Adoption of my daughter
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Suicide of my twin brother
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Overcoming Depression
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Health Issues
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Writing a Book
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Raising Children
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Empowering Others
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Creating my own Events
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Loss of Loved ones
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Teaching others
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PUBLIC SPEAKING
This list could go on and on. There are literally thousands of things that I could put on here, ranging from getting married, going to school, finding friends, to what I do all the time that is listed as the #1 Fear of people, even more than death, and that is public speaking. My question for you is this, what are you in fear of right now? What are you avoiding or unwilling to do? How could you benefit in your life if you were to embrace it rather than push it away? What are you missing out on?
Last week I went to my 35-Year High School Reunion. (yes, I know this really ages me…) It is a well-known fact that many people avoid their reunions out of fear. Fear of what others will think or fear of what they look like. Fear of if they are successful enough. Fear of not recognizing others. The list goes on and on. What I can tell you is that we had only 31 of our classmates attend this celebration. That is the smallest number we have ever had. I have been on the committee or in charge of this event three times in the past and have had numbers as high as 150 classmates in attendance in the past. I know that there are many conflicts with date and location etc. so fear is not the only reason to not go to your class reunion, but I also know the percentages that it does affect. How sad is that? We had a wonderful time seeing each other and catching up on what has been going on in everyone’s lives. Yet I was saddened that we did not have the opportunity to see many more classmates!
Stop allowing fear to stop you from living the life of your dreams! Start finding how often you can push through the fear and have success! Underneath your fears are unbelievable opportunities! When you realize that changing this in your life is really just about choice, and taking action, you can easily have this in your life:
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Find your Courage
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Find your Confidence
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Find your Power
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Find your Ideal Life!
On my last birthday, I was asked by my husband what I would like for my birthday. After a great deal of thinking, I could not come up with anything and asked him for an I-O-U. I felt like I would want something later this year and this would give me the perfect opportunity to redeem this. He consented. He even thought it was a pretty good idea. Then, a few days later, he called me out of the blue and said, “I have decided what your I-O-U should be!” Now, correct me if I am wrong, but aren’t I supposed to decide what my I-O-U for my birthday should be?
Rather excitedly he exclaimed, “You should go skydiving!” My response was, “What? Why would I ever jump out of a perfectly good working airplane? Are You NUTS?” He then explained his thoughts about how this would be perfect for my speaking career and my topic on fear and pushing past it. He also said he would do it with me, even though he has never wanted to jump out of a plane either. How funny is that? Neither of us have ever wanted to go skydiving, yet we should do it together to push past the fear of just doing it? What I can tell you is that we have it scheduled on our calendar to do this on a weekend this fall!
I challenge each of you to put a real Fear item on your list. Then DO IT!! You will be amazed at what you can discover personally and professionally by doing a huge fear item. It has been proven thousands of times. There are events all over the world that have all kinds of things you can do exclusively to push you past your fear! Just determine what it looks like for you and work towards it.
Join me in the episode today and learn more on how, “Your Success Begins when Your Fear Ends.” ~ Kris Barney.