Have you noticed in our society and our communities we are seeing a huge disconnection rather than connection between each other? We have raised suicide rates all over the country as well as a spike in depression, anxiety, loneliness, and lack of connection.
Some of the factors to this happening are:·
Texting rather than face to face conversation- Hectic schedules and not enough quality time
- Dating changed from one on one to groups
- Gaming and video games instead of human interaction
- On-line Social media instead of one on one time
- Lack of personal connection and personal touch
- Lowered levels of integrity and accountability
- Feeling we do not fit in or measure up
- Comparison to everything we see out there
- Heightened feeling of I am not enough
This is just a quick list….I am sure this list could go on and on.
So, “Why Is It Important to Belong?” In Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, he labels one of our Foundational needs as “belonging”. We all need to feel that we belong and that is Key for every person. Regardless of their relationships, every human being has the need to belong. If we do not feel that we belong, at any level, our personal value begins to crumble and we feel “less than”. This creates feelings like we do not belong or are perhaps not as worthy or as valuable as what we perceive others to be.
Look at this diagram of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. We do not move past a level until we feel or achieve it. We will not move to confidence and self-esteem until 
we feel love and belonging. We also will not move to self-actualization until we have conquered our confidence level. This shows up for us in all areas! Belonging is HUGE!!!
When we have a deep sense of belonging we feel things at a deeper level. We trust deeper. We love deeper. We serve at a new level. We desire to make the other people happy, rather than working to make ourselves happy.
What happens by making other people happy is we create our own happiness. This is also known as service. But, keep in mind we do not move into true service until we have embraced belonging.
The definition to belonging is this: Belonging is the human need to be an accepted member of a group. Whether it is family, friends, co-workers, or a sports team, humans have an inherent desire to belong and be an important part of something greater than themselves.
My question for you is this: “Where do YOU Belong?” It is good to know where you belong and to know where you may feel a bit awkward and need to feel it stronger. Here is a list for you to consider some of the groups that you belong to:
Family- Community
- Work
- Social groups
- Church
- Relationships
- School
- Sports Teams
- Recreational Groups
So many times we think that is takes making huge changes to really effect what is going on, yet after Mentoring hundreds of people to take action in simple little changes done consistently they see dramatic results.
I have developed what I call foundational factors, because I feel that they are the foundation to improving our personal value, our relationships and our communication. When we improve our personal value, our relationships and our communication, we feel like we belong, we feel loved, valued and respected. Also, other people feel respected, valued, loved and even that they belong. Belonging is one of the essential needs and as this is met, everything improves! Our teams at work have better productivity, our kids feel better at school and in turn have better grades, our sports teams do better, etc. All aspects and relationships flourish when there is a “belonging feeling” for everyone.
Wouldn’t it make sense that when we improve our personal value, our relationships and our communication to incorporate this important need, that we would have improved success in all areas of our lives? And yes, it would assist with stopping suicide, lessening depression and so many other things!
What steps can you take to feel like you belong?
Volunteer or be on a committee- Get involved, be the leader
- Be the first to reach out
- Serve others. Find a way to be of service
- Keep touch alive
- Be the one to go talk with a new person
- Find ways to show friendship to others
- Make effort to connect with loved ones on a personal basis
- Have quality time with family
- Have R&R with significant other
- Make actual phone calls instead of a text
- Create Connection everywhere you go
- When you feel like pulling away, jump in
We get to connect and create a way for others to feel like they belong too! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone say, “I was going to take my own life that day, but someone reached out.” Having lost my own twin brother to suicide, I can honestly say, I wish it would have been different. What I would give to have had myself or someone else reach out and be that person for my twin brother. Be that person. Reach out and be the difference for others. Let’s all strive to keep more people on this planet! Connection is how we do that!
Join us in our episode this week: “Why It’s Important to Belong!”
we feel love and belonging. We also will not move to self-actualization until we have conquered our confidence level. This shows up for us in all areas! Belonging is HUGE!!!
