Belonging is essential as human beings. It is an innate need. With that being said, “Where Do You Belong?”
Have you noticed in our society and in our communities we are seeing a huge disconnection between each other? We have raised suicide rates all over the country as well as a spike in depression, anxiety, loneliness, stress and lack of connection. There are several factors like technology and social media, but the overall biggest factor is the need to belong.
Some of the factors to this happening are:
Texting rather than face to face conversation
Hectic schedules and not enough quality time
Dating has changed from one on one to groups
Gaming and video games instead of human interaction
On-line Social media instead of one on one time
Lack of personal connection and personal touch
Lowered levels of integrity and accountability
Feeling we do not fit in or measure up
Comparison to everything that we see out there
Heightened feeling of I am not enough or not good enough
This is just a quick list…. I am sure this list could go on and on. Think about it, where do you feel like you do not belong?
“Why Is It Important to Belong?” In Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, he places one of our Foundational needs as “belonging”. We all need to feel that we belong and that is Key for every person. Regardless of their relationships, every human being has the need to belong. If we do not feel that we belong, at any level, our personal value begins to crumble, and we feel “less than”. This creates us to feel like we do not belong or are perhaps not worthy or as valuable as what we perceive others to be.
Look at this diagram of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. We do not move past a level until we feel or achieve it. We will not move to confidence and self-esteem until we feel love and belonging. We also will not move to self-actualization until we have conquered our confidence level. This shows up for us in all areas! Belonging is HUGE!!!
When we have a deep sense of belonging, we feel things at a deeper level. We trust deeper. We love deeper. We serve at a new level. We desire to make other people happy, rather than working to make ourselves happy. What happens by making other people happy is we create our own happiness. This could also be known as service. But keep in mind, we do not move into true service until we have embraced belonging.
The definition to belonging is this: Belongingness is the human need to be an accepted member of a group. Whether it is family, friends, co-workers, or a sports team, humans have an inherent desire to belong and be an important part of something greater than themselves.
My question for you is this: “Where do YOU Belong?” It is good to know where you belong and to know where you may feel a bit awkward and need to feel it stronger. Here is a list for you to consider some of the groups that you belong to:
Family
Community
Work
Friends
Socially
Church or Spiritually
Relationships
School
Publicly
Sports Teams
Recreational Groups
Extended Family
So many times, we think that is takes making huge changes to really affect what is going on, yet after Mentoring hundreds of people to take action in simple little changes done consistently, they see dramatic results.
I have developed what I call foundational factors, because I feel that they are the foundation to improving our personal value, our relationships and our communication. When we improve our personal value, our relationships and our communication, we feel like we belong, we feel loved, valued and respected. Also, other people feel respected, valued, loved and even that they belong. Belonging is one of the essential needs and as this is met, everything improves! Our teams at work have better productivity, our kids feel better at school and in turn have better grades, our sports teams do better, etc. All aspects and relationships flourish when there is a “belonging feeling” for everyone.
Wouldn’t it make sense that when we improve our personal value, our relationships and our communication to incorporate this important need, that we would have improved success in all areas of our lives? And yes, it would assist with stopping suicide, lessoning depression and so many other things!
What steps can you take to feel like you belong?
Volunteer or be on a committee
Get involved, be the leader
Be the first to reach out
Serve others. Find a way to be of service
Keep touch alive
Be the one to go talk with a new person
Find ways to show friendship to others
Have quality time with family
Have R & R with significant other
Make actual phone calls instead of a text
Create Connection everywhere you go
When you feel like pulling away, jump in
Make effort to connect with loved ones on a personal basis
We get to connect and create a way for others to feel like they belong too! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone say, “I was going to take my own life that day, but someone reached out.” Having lost my own twin brother to suicide, I can honestly say, I wish it would have been different. What I would give to have had myself or someone else reach out and be that person for my twin brother. Be that person. Reach out and be the difference for others. Let’s all strive to keep more people on this planet! Connection is how we do that!
Join us in our episode this week: “Where Do You Belong?” Find out what you can do differently to THRIVE!
Have you noticed in our society and in our communities we are seeing a huge disconnection between each other? We have raised suicide rates all over the country as well as a spike in depression, anxiety, loneliness, stress and lack of connection. There are several factors like technology and social media, but the overall biggest factor is the need to belong.
When we have a deep sense of belonging, we feel things at a deeper level. We trust deeper. We love deeper. We serve at a new level. We desire to make other people happy, rather than working to make ourselves happy. What happens by making other people happy is we create our own happiness. This could also be known as service. But keep in mind, we do not move into true service until we have embraced belonging.
Family
What steps can you take to feel like you belong?
We get to connect and create a way for others to feel like they belong too! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone say, “I was going to take my own life that day, but someone reached out.” Having lost my own twin brother to suicide, I can honestly say, I wish it would have been different. What I would give to have had myself or someone else reach out and be that person for my twin brother. Be that person. Reach out and be the difference for others. Let’s all strive to keep more people on this planet! Connection is how we do that!