The Value of Touch

Touch is needed now more than ever before…yet we are in the middle of a world pandemic and we have pulled away from each other. We must be safe, yet what is all the pulling away causing? We have raised rates of depression, loneliness, fear, loss of hope, insecurity, a feeling of abandonment, feeling unworthy and unwanted or not good enough. We feel alone, upset and like we do not belong.

Think about the children going back to school, whether that is in school or home school, NONE of this is the same as what they are used to!!! They are wearing masks and not allowed to be close to anyone and absolutely do not touch anyone! Yet, TOUCH is our PRIMARY language of Compassion, caring, concern, and acceptance.  Compassion is literally found in our fingertips, yet right now we are not allowed to have any of this.

When a child went to school, back about six months ago, they were greeted with handshakes, a high five, a hug, a pat on the back, a knuckle punch, or a variety of many other things. They were greeted with a smile and a twinkle in the eye of their teacher and now they can not even see that smile. They ran around on the playground holding hands and having lots of touch in a variety of forms that was healthy and served a very meaningful purpose. That of belonging and being enough. Being accepted and valued. They still need this!! WE ALL STILL NEED THIS!

Research shows that touch is fundamental to bonding, communication, and health. There are studies that have been done hundreds of times on the value of touch and the interaction between humans. This is essential! If we want to thrive, we have got to find a way to still get healthy touch and interaction in.

The number 1 way to do this is to focus on 10 Touches.

What this means is that you have physical touch at least 10 times a day. For everyone. All members of your family. All extended family, and all people at work with you. Every person needs at least 10 touches to thrive!

There is all kinds of research and proof out there that backs this up. Human touch is essential. Human touch is an energy exchange between two people. Think about a hug with someone, don’t you feel closer to that person after giving and receiving a hug? Think about a handshake. There is a connection created with even a stranger upon giving and receiving a handshake.

In a SAFE way, and with those in your family or extended area, you need to focus on touch. They are not getting it anywhere else! Find ways to pat them on the back, caress their arm, hold hands, give a high five, rub their shoulders or back. I even love to have my feet rubbed.

There are about a hundred ways to get 10 touches in with those you love the most. Especially children!! They need this more than ever right now to thrive! Find fun ways to also share this safely with others that you have contact with, like at work or with youth groups. Have everyone put on hand sanitizer and have a sanitizer smack or fist bump. Do an elbow bump or shoulder push.

This may sound crazy, but it will assist every person that you get involved! We thrive as we feel accepted and included. What better way to bring your team together by creating a way to safely add back in a necessary part of our communication and our value?

In an intimate relationship, ten touches creates chemistry between two people leading to a desire for one another. It creates connection, passion, and purpose together.

Think about when you were dating. You could not touch each other enough! You were holding hands, kissing, sitting on each other’s laps, sitting so close that you are touching arms, hips and legs. You played footsies under the table, gave each other back rubs, ran your fingers through their hair. It was a full-time job, right? You were naturally drawn to each other and you could not stand to be apart!

This is the connection you want and desire in a romantic relationship, yet we wonder where it went. We begin to think maybe we are not attracted to this person, or perhaps we are a bit too familiar and the desire has diminished. Not true. Start faithfully doing ten touches and watch the desire and passion begin to flow like crazy! This is about connection. It is about creating desire and closeness.

Ten touches can be easy, if you are willing to pay attention to it. This can be a kiss for good morning, a fun fondle when you pass by each other. It is a hug and kiss goodbye as you begin your day and a kiss and hug when you are back together that evening. This is holding hands to walk into a meeting or into the restaurant. It is holding hands while sitting by one another to watch tv or even eating. It can be a back rub, and massage or even just a rubbing of the shoulders to relieve stress. It is cuddling together as you go to bed. It is easy! Just get in 10 or more every day!

For other relationships, especially ones like with your parents or children, make a conscious effort to give and receive hugs, high fives, and simple pats on the back.

Find ways to add touch back into your life for healthy relationships, compassion, and communication!

Touch is Profound! This could be the most valuable thing you do this year for your family, your team at work and your own life. Find ways to stay safe while staying connected in your many areas of life. Find ways to feel like YOU Belong and create ways for others to feel it to!

Watch our video to learn more about this. We share stories even as recent as last weekend! There is a ton of research around this…find out for yourself just how important touch is in our lives. You will be glad you did!