Stressful times are upon us with the whole world pandemic continuing nine months later and the holidays coming…so, how do we Nurture Relationships during Stressful Times?
First of all, stressful times will show up in our lives on a regular basis. We as humans have feelings of worry, anxiety, and stress all the time. We have these times at work, at home and even personally that come up on a regular basis. Yes, the pandemic has compounded things like crazy, but we can learn to do better and create more control for ourselves and our circumstances. But it begins with you!
Yes, start with yourself. When you can feel in control of yourself and you can nurture yourself to the point of feeling peaceful and relieved of stress, you are better prepared to be able to nurture your other relationships. There are so many easy things we can do to Nurture ourselves and yet so easily we brush right over them. Here are several things you could do right now:
- Self-care
- Exercise or go for a walk
- Good nutrition and vitamins
- Gratitude
- Journaling
- Laughing – this makes a huge difference
- Go out in Nature
- Deep breathing exercises
- Meditation
- Read a good book
- Go on a date
- Listen to music
- Take a bubble bath
- Get a massage
- Talk with a friend
- Visit a family member
Going into the Holidays knowing that we are being asked to wear masks, not have get togethers and avoid catching the virus, is stressful in itself! We are also faced with death and sickness as well as a heightened level of depression and suicide. There is a lot going on! We must be conscientious of everything happening around us and prepare for how we CAN enjoy our time together for the holidays and keep our sanity.
Recently we had Thanksgiving. We were asked by State officials to not have large gatherings, keep our groups to immediate family only and a limit to 10 people. This is a foreign thought for almost any family with a Traditional Thanksgiving. This year was supposed to be our year with all our children, our grandchildren, and my Mother. As Thanksgiving approached, not all our children would be coming, not all our Grandchildren would make it, and then my Mother who just turned 80 years old in October called to say she was planning on doing a short little visit, rather than come for dinner. She would not be eating because she was not taking her mask off. She lives in her home in a Senior community and they had 3 deaths in the past 4 days. She was extremely nervous and felt that she should limit her exposure to others. She had been watching all the news reports and the numbers in our state where the virus was out of control.
This felt like my own Mother would be doing a drive by Thanksgiving! I began to feel hurt, frustrated and angry. None of us were sick. Several had already had the virus and it had been over 4 years since we had been able to have everyone together for Thanksgiving. As I allowed the pain, hurt feelings and frustration creep in, it only made things worse. Did you find yourself with similar feelings as this fantastic holiday of gratitude and generosity came to be? Seriously, we have been dealing with this for over 9 months now and this pandemic has ruined our entire year…right?
What I can tell you is that YES, this looked different than what I wanted. Yes, it felt hurtful, until I chose to see it from the perspective of this: I still have my mother with me. Our family was the one who got to have her come by, bring us a favorite banana cream pie, stop by to spread love and joy for what we do have. She made a huge effort to drive up and make an appearance. We were able to see her, enjoy her, even for just a few minutes wearing masks. She is the mother of 6, and she did not do this that day for the others. Yes, she had my sweet sister with her, and they returned to her home to have Thanksgiving dinner together, just the two of them.
These lessons are not only for our holiday celebrations. These lessons are for everyday life. Think about the stresses of work. Are you working from home? Are you Zoomed out of your ever-living mind? Are you homeschooling? Is your spouse working from home too and is it stressful as heck? Are you sick of wearing masks and putting sanitizer on your hands? Stressful times are all around us. They are not going away quickly…some will never go away. Here are ways to help you through some of these situations:
The lessons here are to appreciate what you do have, recognize the simple yet profound things that are still all around us. Plan things that will be memorable. Do things that are not easy and do not expect them to look a certain way. There are many ways for us to learn from this. Choose to be willing to look for what you are learning. Choose to see what is right in front of you and how you are blessed. See things from gratitude and abundance and the nurturing of relationships will happen even during stressful times. Choose to play your game of tic tac toe with hearts instead of empty zeros and watch the love win.
- Make Connections with people! Everyone needs connection right now more than ever!
- Make phone calls – actually speak with others. Text others with compliments and love. Face time!
- Get on Zoom and have some fun! Play games with each other, watch a movie, do challenges, LAUGH TOGETHER.
- Be authentic and real. Reach out when you are down, even when you do not want to.
- Be in Acceptance NOT Resistance! We have talked before about Accept & Allow VS Control and Force.
- Work hard. Organize and de-junk. Let go of what you do not need. Allow space for what you are ready for.
- Plan fun activities. Find fun ways to have connection with friends and family. Plan creative dates and outings. Play some board games and do fun activities and challenges with each other.
You have got this! You can create what you set your mind to. Why not set it to have wonderful relationships during these crazy times and enjoy each other every day?